Roses After A Flood Of Tears
by waterlit
Summary: AU. A newly-formed friendship brings a tirade of emotions into the hearts of three people. Out of tears and bemusement a romance blossoms. Onesided Lavi/femAllen, gradual Kanda/femAllen.
1. A Meeting

Disclaimer: i own nothing!~

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"Are you sure you really want to do that?" A strikingly cheerful voice asked.

The white-haired girl sitting dismally on the ledge spun her head around to face the person trying to talk to her. She was in no mood to chat with a person she had never seen before – she was currently wavering between ending her misery right then and there, and thinking of a viable solution to her many problems. She had neither the time nor the energy to entertain some bored young man with a bright green bandana tied around his head. _What a weird guy. Who still wears such old-fashioned stuff nowadays? Damn him. He'd better go away soon. He's interrupting my alone time! _

The male with the fiery red hair stared at the girl sitting on the ledge. Was she going to jump? If she was, he'd better persuade her not to. He didn't think that it'd be very fun to go around the rest of his life knowing that someone's death might be on his currently very clean hands. He was somewhat a stickler for cleanliness, too. And to tell the truth, the girl did look rather cute, even if she was a tad too thin for his superior and somewhat perverted taste.

He took a slow deliberate step towards her. Hopefully, if everything went well, she would swing her legs inwards and come down. And maybe join him for dinner after. If things were at their worst, the girl might stand up and shout at him before toppling to her unplanned death some distance below. But where was the fun in that? He put another step forward and stared at her with a curious expression. Then he put another foot forward; he didn't want to surprise her off the ledge, after all.

The girl watched the long legs slowly move towards her, almost hypnotised by the careful, identical steps the young man took. _He's afraid of frightening me!_ She wanted to laugh. But she did nothing; she didn't want to sound hysterical. She continued to slouch over, legs dangling off the ledge on which she was so precariously perched. She swung her legs, watching her blue flats dance to the rhythm of the pivots that were her feet. She could see the street below. It was a nice long road, with ever so many elegantly tall trees. And there were cars, both old and new, dotting the street. Too pretty a scene for her to spoil, really. She shouldn't jump here. The sight of her mangled, bloodied body would damage the beautiful surroundings.

The male watched the girl's back as he slowly inched closer. She'd turned her head away, back to staring at the street below. Her hands, both gloved, he noticed, were clutching the ledge rather tightly. Maybe she wasn't so keen on suiciding, after all.

"Don't you want to come down?" She heard a pleading voice beside her.

The girl turned her head, and found herself looking into the single green eye of the redhead who had been taking his own sweet time to walk towards her. He was standing at the parapet, smiling at her. _Why is he wearing an eye-patch? That's really weird too. An eye-patch and a bandana? He must be really weird, this guy. Is he a hippie of some sort?_

"I like it up here" was her intelligent reply.

"It's dangerous you know, young lady." She was shocked to see the redhead wink at her as if they had known each other for ages. _He has no sense of propriety at all, does he!_

"You might fall." He flashed a winning smile. "Come on."

She glared at him, only to feel a muscled hand grab her around the middle. Then two hard arms pulled her back, ignoring the fingers she was angrily flailing in his face, before they set her down so that she stood next to the redhead.

"Well, now, that wasn't so hard, was it? But seriously, suiciding isn't a good idea you know, whatever the problem. Do you need a shoulder to cry on? Or do you need someone to talk to? If you do, you can count on me, you know. Don't try to do some silly thing like killing yourself." The redhead continued. _Damn it, why am I saying such stuff? It's not like me at all! Is this girl a witch or what? Is she bewitching me? But she _is_ cute. _

The girl was evidently amused. She had been staring at his face for some time now – she so wanted to laugh. How had he managed to change his facial expressions so quickly? A cheeky grin had rapidly morphed into a caring, anxious face. It was too funny. But she had to admit, even with his eye-patch and his bandana, he was still a good deal more handsome than most of the guys around the campus. He was tall and muscular for that matter, too.

"It's nothing much." She leaned against the parapet. "I just needed a breather."

"You –"

"What's your name?"

"I'm Lavi Bookman. And you, princess?" He smirked.

"I'm Allen. Allen Walker. That's Allen spelt with an A, not an E."

"Ohhh. That's a weird name for a girl."

"Sure it is."

"Ouch. Look, I know you need some time alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, there's always me. Here. I'll give you my number. You can always reach me on my cell." He pressed a slip of paper into her small palm.

"I'll be off, then. Remember not to do anything foolish!" He turned and walked towards the stairs.

"Lavi?" Her voice was rather unsteady. The redhead turned back, surprised. "Shall we go grab a bite?"

And that was how they ended up in the nearby café. Allen was happily munching away on a huge burger. Lavi thought she was the strangest girl he'd ever seen, but also the cutest and most attractive. Not that she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen; she wasn't. But there was something about her boyish figure, about the way she carried herself, that made his heart thump faster against his ribs like it had never done before (if it had, he couldn't remember it).

And so he was curious.

"Did you get that tattoo for fun? And are you a natural peroxide blonde?" He gestured at her face and hair. He saw the girl stiffen.

"My scar…" Allen touched the red line on her face, "my scar I got from the accident that killed my adoptive father when I was young. And my hair is naturally white. It's not blonde."

"Ohhh, I see. I didn't mean to touch on such a hurting topic." The redhead smiled at her. "Forgive me?"

"I'm not offended. It's okay." Allen sighed in between huge mouthfuls of food.

"So why were you up there just now?" Lavi continued asking. Allen wanted to glare at Lavi. Why was he being so curious? But it would be nice to share her story with another human. She needed a break.

"My guardian left without a word. And he saddled me with a huge amount of debt. I'm not sure I can pay the creditors in time. In fact, I hardly think I can." Lavi saw the head of white hair (not blonde, he reminded himself) droop slightly.

"You poor thing…" Without knowing what he was doing, his hand reached out to pat that adorable, silky clump of white hair. The girl looked up, evidently bemused, her grey-blue eyes confused and veiled with a mist of tears.

"What did you say you major in, again?" Lavi seemed to have no end of questions to ask.

"Sociology."

"Ohh! Then we're in the same faculty! I major in history and psychology! Let's have lunch together tomorrow!"

*

Lavi was his usual hopping self when he got back to his hostel room that night. Only, he was more excited and hyperactive than usual. He grabbed his roommate, a certain cold-hearted Asian man with long blue hair, and waltzed him around the room, much to his roommate's much-expressed disgust.

"Che, baka usagi, what's gotten into you? Let go of me NOW!"

"Yuu-chan, why so unhappy?" Lavi sang loudly into his roommate's ear. He found himself facing the glinting eyes of a familiar sharp metallic blade.

"Do NOT call me Yuu-chan!" The hoarse voice made itself known just beside Lavi's ear.

Lai freed himself by nodding. "Hey, Yu, I think I've fallen in love."

"Che. You say that so often it's hard to believe it anymore."

"I'm serious this time. I've invited the girl to lunch with me tomorrow. Come along!"

"Shut up, you."

* * *

A/N: This is another attempt at writing a chaptered fic. I've only ever written 3 such fics, and they were all epic failures. The first was pure lousy, the second was brought to an abrupt end due to a lack of ideas, and the third was just a vague attempt. I'm not the kind of person who can come up with a plot and make it work, but I did try my best for this one. So please pardon me if it isn't good, especially since I've never written AU fics before this, too. If this isn't a tolerable read then I'll delete it and go back to writing oneshots heh, and try again in a few months xD

I know I said before that i can't abide yaoi pairings, but this is female allen, so i guess it isn't really yaoi. My interest in female Allen fics started after i read Lover's Novel by smiles555fofo and Nightmare by Maze Puppet. Both these fics are awesome and i highly recommend them. Allen makes a much more interesting female character than Lenalee, who's sweet but bland. Allen in female form would be more like a normal female than Lenalee's who pretty much perfect.

So yes, please review haha I need constructive criticism to improve my writing! But all reviews are welcome, all the same. And thank you very very much for reading! :D


	2. When We First Met

Disclaimer: I own nothing~

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"Hey, Lenalee!" A cheerful voice rang out in the busy, sun-dappled central plaza of the campus.

The girl with the long dark hair turned and smiled as she saw her good friends coming towards her. "Hello Lavi and Kanda!"

"Eh, Lenalee, do you want to join us for lunch?" Lavi smiled at her. "I think you'd better come, you know. Otherwise Kanda here will feel really awkward playing gooseberry."

Lenalee stared at him, rather dumbfounded. "What?"

"Che. Your friend here has a new paramour again." Kanda finally spoke, thin lips curving upwards into an almost-smile. "Again."

"Oh Lavi, I'm so happy for you! Who's the lucky girl this time?" Lenalee asked, a bright smile on her face.

"Her name's Allen. Actually, you ought to know her, since she takes sociology too. She's probably your junior or something…"

Lenalee shook her head. "Allen? I can't say I've ever heard the name before…"

"Che. You idiots." Kanda turned around so he wouldn't have to face them. Being around them too much would spoil his superior intellect.

"Well, now, we'd better be on our way then. Lavi, you wouldn't want to be late for your date, would you? Come on, move those long legs of yours. Don't tell me that you're already so awed by this girl that you can't even walk!" Lenalee laughed, her eyes twinkling at the thought of Lavi being awed.

"I can walk. It's just that I'm so overwhelmed by the thought of meeting this lovely princess again that I feel so woozy." Lavi gave an example of a stage-worthy, theatrical fainting move.

"Che. Baka usagi." Kanda prodded Lavi forward with the edge of his sharp-edged sword. "Move."

When they got to the cafeteria, Lavi saw Allen sitting near the window, gazing dreamily at her coffee, white hair lying in glossy pools around her shoulders. He felt his heart speed up a little.

"There she is." He gestured to his friends, his eyes suddenly large and heart-shaped.

"Trust you to fall in love with an old woman." Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Oh, Yuu-chan! Give her a chance! And she's not old! Her hair is naturally white."

"Give it a rest, you two." Lenalee hit both guys. _They can be such idiots sometimes_, the girl thought.

......

"Yo, Allen!" Lavi's heart nearly skipped a beat as he saw the white-haired girl turn to face him. She smiled and waved him over. "Hey, are you feeling better already? Remember, I'm always here for you."

"Yeah, I'm fine." She flashed him a cutesy smile, which seemed empty even then, to his Bookman eyes. But he put that nugget away for the time being, and instead dragged Lenalee and Kanda forward. "Allen, these are my good friends, Lenalee, and Kanda."

"Nice to meet you!" Allen stood up and bowed.

Lenalee smiled and hugged the other girl. _She's the politest girl I've ever met!_ _Really, Lavi, she's quite a good catch! You've finally managed to fall in love with the right sort of girl._ Kanda, on the other hand, merely grunted and sat down without saying anything to Allen. Allen was going to shake his hand, but he refused to extend it. She raised an eyebrow at him, facial features contorted into an expression of hopeless bemusement.

"Che, Moyashi, I don't touch random people I don't know, especially not when they have weird hair, like yours." Kanda snapped.

"What's a Moyashi? And that's not a good reason to not shake hands." Allen glared at Kanda.

"It means beansprout, you dumbass." Kanda made a point of rolling his eyes.

"Really, Kanda, how could you be so rude to Allen?" Lenalee thumped his head with her large bag. "Allen, ignore him. He finds pleasure in being rude to everyone."

......

"I hope you had a good time today, Allen." Lenalee smiled at the other girl as they walked back to their hostel together. Earlier, they had discovered that their rooms were in the same hall. That was good. Both girls already felt like they'd known each other for decades on end; they had talked for some hours now ever since they met in the cafeteria.

"Yepps, I guess I did. All of you are very nice people." The reply was generous.

"I'm really glad to have met you, Allen. I already think you're a great person. Who knows, we might become the best of friends in no time at all."

"I hope so, Lenalee."

Both girls chuckled then, equally glad that there was no hint of awkwardness between them at all.

"So, Allen, what do you think of Lavi?" Lenalee prodded, unable to suppress her natural curiosity.

"He's a nice guy, I guess. And his hair is an awesome colour. I've never really seen anyone who has such vividly-coloured hair before. Is it natural?"

"Yes. I'm glad you like him." Lenalee smiled at the confused expression on the other girl's face. It looked like Allen wasn't very informed about love. She doubted if the other girl had ever had a crush on, or a relationship with anyone before. It was good that she could take Allen under her wings, then. Lavi was apt to be too dazzling, and he might scare Allen away without meaning to.

......

Allen spent the greater part of the next month hanging out with Lenalee, Lavi and Kanda. She had lunch with them, she visited Lenalee every other day at her room down the hall, and she messaged Lavi back whenever he texted her, which was quite an often occurrence, taking place at the rate of at least twenty meaningless text messages a day.

And then Lavi asked her out on a special outing. "Allen, are you free this evening?"

"Yes, why?"

"Let's go catch a movie at the cinema later."

"Lavi, you know I'm currently facing financial difficulties. I don't have the money to pay for tickets."

"I'll pay for you."

"…"

"I'm serious. I'm not quite so broke that I can't afford two tickets. Come on, it'd be fun." Lavi put on his best puppy eyes, seeing that Allen was about to relent. "Please? Please please please?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Come on, Allen, come with me."

"Are Lenalee and Kanda going?"

"No. It'll be just you, and me." Lavi flashed his winning grin again, hoping that Allen would drown in it and fall deeply in love with him like all the many other girls who viewed him as their one and only idol.

"But – "

"Ahh, no buts." Lavi wagged a slim finger at the petite girl before him. "You promised!"

Allen nodded uneasily, wondering how she had managed to get herself into such a situation.

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A/N: I'm not really happy about this chapter, but this is probably the best i can come up with. It's pretty short, but the next chapter will be about twice the length hahaha. I hope this chapter isn't too big a disappointment! Reviews are much appreciated, and if you have any constructive comments, i'd be glad to hear them (: Thanks for reading!

(By the way, was Lavi asking allen out on a date too... fast?)

And of course, thank you RedLining, Kichou and plasticfries for reviewing, as well as the people who placed this story on story alert and those who fav-ed it. Many thanks! :D


	3. Watching You At The Movies

_Disclaimer: I own nothing (:__I wonder what I should wear. I don't want Lavi thinking the wrong things – if I wear something too revealing and slutty he might think I'm out to catch him. If I wear something too girly… who knows what he might think. And anyway, I don't have girly clothes. I need something casual; I don't want him getting any ideas. But I've nothing casual here that would fit a girl, really. Heck, I'm just going to wear my usual boyish apparel. Where is my vest? Oh damn it, they stink. How long have I not washed them?_

* * *

Allen rummaged through her wardrobe, unable to find anything suitable for a tomboyish girl to wear to the cinema. Unfortunately, her normal clothes stank a little, for reasons unknown to her. To Allen's surprise, though, Lenalee chose that moment to enter the room. By doing so, she changed Allen's fate forever. In after days Allen was eternally grateful for Lenalee's interference, but at that exact moment, she could have killed Lenalee then and there.

Lenalee was trying to force her into a dress. A dress that, the Chinese girl claimed, would bring out Allen's curves and hug her body in all the right places. _And_ hide any flaws that she wanted to hide. But Allen was horrified, really. She knew that Lenalee was quite the fashionista, of course, but she was good old boyish Allen, and good old boyish Allen did _not _wear frilly blue numbers like the clingy fabric Lenalee was holding out.

"NO, Lenalee, I'm NOT wearing that… thing. It looks like a nightie." Allen whined. _Why is my life so sad that I have to resort to wearing nighties?_

Lenalee shook her head in mock anger. "No, Allen you have to wear this. Please? This dress will look really good on you. Plus it sort of accentuates the colour of your eyes."

"No, it won't."

"Okay, Allen, stop sulking. Why don't you just go try it? If it really doesn't fit you, or if it you really detest it that much, then I won't force you."

This exchange resulted in Allen going off to try the dress, even though she didn't feel like it. When Allen finally emerged from her toilet, Lenalee clapped.

"You do look good in it!" Lenalee spun Allen around so the girl could look at herself in the mirror.

Allen had a shock; a huge, huge shock. She'd never been praised for her looks before. She had lived most of her young life before Mana came along in an orphanage where boys and girls alike were all dressed in similar patchy overalls. Everyone had their hair cropped short, and the carers never had the time to stop and look properly at any one child. Mana had been nice and sweet to her; he had bought her dresses, and given her frilly ribbons with which to decorate her growing hair, but he had never commented on her looks. Instead, he'd often smiled and praised her for being a good girl, which was nice in itself, but not entirely encouraging looks-wise.

Cross was worse. As her guardian, he should have been like Mana. Instead, he bought her second-hand (sometimes even third-hand) clothings, usually of the shirts and shorts-or-jeans variety, but never a dress. That pretty much explained how she had landed in this dress-less state. Moreover, he had commented quite frequently on her white hair, and how males would be repelled by it, and her scar, which he suggested she use concealer to well, conceal, and her deformed arm, which he suggested she amputate, and her lack of height, for which he recommended a boutique store that sold pretty heels. Sometimes he criticised her figure – or lack of it. It had severely damaged her self esteem at first, as it would have crumbled that of any other teenage girl on the cusp of adulthood. But she had steeled herself and lived through it, and could now ignore his stinging barbs targeted at her relatively flat chest and straight figure pretty well.

So it was somewhat surprising to see herself looking good for once. Revolving in front of her mirror, she could have congratulated herself on growing a feminine body overnight. Or maybe Lenalee was right – the dress did have magical properties that boosted her proportions.

"Now for makeup." Lenalee's voice pulled her back to reality.

"No, no, please no. I'd rather not. I don't want Lavi thinking that I'm out to snare him or anything…" Allen pleaded with her now stern-looking friend.

"You must have makeup. Any self-respecting girl won't go out without putting some makeup on." Allen quavered under Lenalee's fierce glare. "At least, concealer is a must."

"Okay."

"Don't worry, trust me. I'll just play up your features, nothing more."

......

"Hey, Yu, what should I wear?" Lavi asked Kanda in the chirpiest voice he could summon.

Lavi found himself staring into Mugen's bright eyes again, for the fourth time that day. "Don't call me Yu."

The redhead nodded rather shakily. He didn't want to be killed, at least not right before the date he had looked forward to for so long.

"As I was saying, what should I wear?" Lavi fixed Kanda with a raised eyebrow.

"Che. Does it matter?"

"Yes it does! I want Allen to know that I'm serious about her. Though maybe she wouldn't notice, what with her being so dense and all. But still, I'm going to try. Should I wear a dress shirt? Or would it be better to wear a full tuxedo? Or maybe it would be best to dress down in my casual clothes? What do you think, Kanda?"

"Just wear whatever you want, baka usagi. And shut up. I'm trying to meditate."

"Kanda, I – "

Kanda was rather surprised by the sudden thud. And he was rather surprised that the stupid rabbit had finally managed to shut up. So he opened one eye and directed it towards where he knew Lavi to be. Lavi was lying on the floor, clutching his abdomen. _Where does all that pain come from? It feels like a dozen little needles are drilling into me, without any consideration for my feelings. Ants are biting my insides, and my stomach is groaning. I can't get up._

Kanda was by Lavi's side in two quick strides. "Che, Lavi, you okay?"

"I – my stomach aches! I can't stand it!" Lavi continued clutching at his abdomen.

"Do you need me to call a doctor?"

"No. I can deal with it. But my date with Allen – I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Che. You can't go anywhere like this, baka usagi."

"Oh. Right. But I can't let Allen down like this!"

"Che."

"Kanda, would you mind if you went in my place? Please?"

"No. I won't go. She can go with Lenalee or something."

"Kanda? Please? I promise not to touch Mugen for a month." Lavi's sincerity rang in every syllabus. "Lenalee isn't free this evening!"

Finally, eyes mostly closed, Kanda nodded.

"Make it two months." Just for Mugen.

......

Allen stepped onto the polished parquet floor and sighed. She'd never been rich enough to walk into such a sprawling cineplex as this one was. Cross had barely given her enough leisure time, and Mana hadn't had much money as a circus performer either. Her heels went click-clack over the floor, and self-consciousness crept over her. _I shouldn't have let Lenalee do all this to me. What will Lavi think? I hope he doesn't get any funny ideas._

Over at the snack counter, Kanda tapped his feet impatiently. Where was the Moyashi? He hadn't come here just so he could be ogled by various teenaged girls in the vicinity. Lavi had better keep to his end of the promise, or Kanda would have to resort to physical violence to get his reward.

Allen first saw the blue hair before anything else. She wondered who could ever have blue hair, until her memory told her she knew a certain Kanda who did. _Lavi and Kanda are always together, so Lavi should be near Kanda_, so she reasoned to herself. She took faltering steps towards the guy she thought was Kanda, somewhat nervous. She and Kanda had gotten off to a bad start, and their friendship wasn't exactly strong. In fact, she wouldn't dare call it a friendship; it was more of a show of tolerance that they kept between them.

She reached put to tap the blue-haired male on the shoulder when he turned and saw her –

Kanda first smelled the scent of cherry blossoms before anything else. The fragrance came wafting up to him, sneaking under his unsuspecting nose before unleashing its full aroma on him. With remarkable curiosity he turned around to see if someone had miraculously planted a cherry tree just behind him.

He turned to sniff out the source of the cherry blossoms and his –

– her eyes met those deep inscrutable eyes of his.

– his eyes took in the small petite blue-clad form before him.

Both gasped.

"You scared me!" Allen was the first to recover.

"Che. No one asked you to sneak up on me like that." Kanda huffed.

"Where's Lavi, baKanda?"

"Che, Moyashi, your boyfriend's sick and got me to come accompany you instead."

"He's NOT my boyfriend!"

"Whatever. Now go in already." Kanda used a long thin finger to prod Allen into the dark theatre.

"What are we watching, anyway?"

"Che, do I look like I know? Stop talking and just watch."

"The movie hasn't started, Kanda."

"Che."

To tell the truth, Kanda hadn't meant to be so rude and offensive when talking to Allen. It was just that he had been taken aback by the strange feeling roaring in his breast. It sent a tingle up his spine, and caused pink spots to appear on his smooth, pale cheeks. And Kanda was apt to be at his most indifferent and uncaring whenever he had to deal with a new emotion that he didn't already know.

It all started with that damned scent. The faint, somewhat fruity fragrance had addled his brains and made him a little woozy, especially around the knees. For no particular reason, it had reminded him of a time in his native Japan where he had run around his mother's backyard, making friends with all the cherry blossom trees. And when he'd turned around he'd been met by a most surprising sight. The moyashi in a dress. She looked quite good in it too. _What am I thinking? _But really, the girl did look quite nice. Kanda shifted his head slightly to look at her side profile. On a normal day she could be passed off as a normal girl. She wasn't ugly. But she wasn't the most attractive girl, or the girl with the greatest body. Kanda did notice such things; it was just that he didn't make a point of announcing his observations and thoughts to the world the way Lavi did.

It wasn't everyday that Allen could be caught in a dress though, and this surprise might just explain the funny feeling that was rising in his chest and constricting his breathing. The moment he had turned around outside the movie theatre, his eyes had landed on the blue dress wrapped around Allen. It hugged her body with great finesse, and gave her curves he'd never thought she had. His eyes had travelled upward, resting for a moment along her slender neck, and then met her eyes. _The colour of her eyes and dress match! _Kanda shook his head at his own absurdity. What nonsense was he thinking?

He took a deep breathe. His heart was still racing.

In the next seat, Allen had closed her eyes. She needed a moment of peace to sort out her thoughts. Her pulsating heartbeat made her feel like she'd just completed a marathon of sorts, where the distance was the length of carpeted floor between the snack counter and her seat. That instance of looking into Kanda's empty eyes had given her a shock. A shock that felt good. What was wrong with her? But she had to admit, Kanda was quite a lady-killer. Or at least, he could be, if he'd tried. A simple dress-shirt and jeans more than played up his buffed body. Which girl could resist that? His hair was pretty, too. Prettier than her own hair, she thought, fingering the silky folds of her loaned dress nervously. Honestly, she had to calm down. Lenalee probably wouldn't like it if Allen left sweat stains on the pretty dress - but how could she calm down, when her heart wouldn't listen to her?

She tried her best to watch the horror flick. He did the same. But somehow, neither remembered the plot when they exited the movie theatre two hours later.

Kanda did walk Allen back to her hall after that. But they didn't speak much – because Kanda was still processing and analysing his newfound feelings. Allen, though, thought she knew what had happened.

She'd developed a crush on Kanda.

* * *

A/N: Heh, Kanda and Allen (female) went on a date to the cinema. Finally the two end up together hahaha. I'm sorry there's near to zero mention of the film they were watching, but it's really because the film isn't central to the plot. Wow I am amazed at myself - this chapter is some 2000 words long. I've never written such a long oneshot before, or a chapter this long, for that matter. As usual, reviews are much appreciated, and if you have any constructive comments, i'd be glad to hear them (: Thanks for reading!

Before I go – thank you plasticfries, Astaline Nihtingale, RedLining and Kichou for reviewing, and thanks also to hawktakesflight and M. Cutie for bothering to read and review this :D


	4. In The Past

Disclaimer: why would i own anything?

* * *

The next week passed without much ado. Classes continued as usual, Allen walked to class and back with Lenalee, the four had lunch together as usual, and Lavi continued to flirt and banter with Allen without her realising anything. Allen had by this time pretty much grown into the group, though she didn't display her newfound emotions by stalking Kanda the way many of his fan girls did, though she did find herself staring at him more than usual. _It's just a normal crush,_ she told herself. _It's really nothing. It's something all girls go through; it's lust! _She couldn't find the courage to talk to him much, especially when Lavi was around, but then again, he didn't say anything to her either.

Then Lavi asked Allen out again, weakening the already unbalanced emotional equilibrium in Allen's heart. She couldn't well refuse Lavi – after all, he was the one who had comforted her first. But she couldn't put away those beating feelings and pretend she had never daydreamt about Kanda. What was a girl to do?

"Yo, Allen! You free tomorrow? How about we go take a walk in the park? The weather's getting colder now, and I want to show you the lovely trees before everything becomes brown and murky."

"Oh. Okay." Allen had to agree. She had no reason to reject Lavi's offer, and anyway, she hated to lie.

The next day, Allen met Lavi after school and the two proceeded to walk out of the campus. As they were sauntering along the stone-hewn pathway, walking slowly to enjoy the trailing autumn mist, they saw a black-clad figure striding towards them, with another tall thin black figure by its side. Even with the light mist, there was no mistaking the male coming towards them, though they couldn't tell who the female was. But the male - long hair, check; tall and thin, check; a murderous aura, check. Lavi waved, and Allen followed suit, even though her heart gave a hard thump time and again as she watched those shiny shoes come ever closer. _Lust again_, she told herself, _don't respond to it. Don't blush! Lavi can see you!_

"Hey, Yuu-chan!" Lavi shouted, bouncing over to his friend, pulling Allen along in his wake.

A sword shone, its bitter blade exposed to Lavi's skin.

"Say that again?" the cold hoarse voice asked. Allen shivered; that voice was really quite awesome. Why hadn't she noticed before? Kanda noticed the movement and shot a fleeting glance at the Moyashi. Why was she with Lavi again? He felt a sudden urge to hit Lavi with Mugen.

"Sorry, Kanda." Lavi stood up straight and brushed off his jeans as he pushed the sword gingerly away, having noticed Kanda's sudden murderous aura. He looked at girl to Kanda's left and wolf-whistled. "So Kanda, you got yourself a girlfriend?"

Kanda's companion lifted an eyebrow. Allen stared at her, suddenly self-conscious. The young woman was extremely self-possessed. She stood with a confident air, her attractive features made all the more striking with the help of cosmetics. She had well-dressed blond hair… Allen's right hand went unconsciously up to feel her own untidy white hair. She was tall and slim, and chic. Allen quivered within; would Kanda even look at her, when he had such a goddess by his side?

"Che, baka usagi, she's not my girlfriend. She's Lulubell, my senior." The slim woman gave them a condescending smile, her yellow hair flying in the gentle wind. She placed a manicured hand on Kanda's arm. Allen stared.

"Oh, okay. Allen and I are heading to the park. See you later!" Lavi grinned.

"Che."

Allen turned to follow Lavi, but not before her eyes saw Lulubell hook her arm with Kanda's. With a sigh, Allen hurried after Lavi, unknowing of the fact that Kanda's dark eyes were fixated on her retreating figure. He was sorry to see her go, he didn't know why, but all the same he was rather glad, though, that Allen was merely wearing her scruffy jeans and an old tee. He didn't particularly fancy the idea of her going with Lavi to the park in a slinky dress that barely covered anything. Then he realised what he was thinking about. He blushed and shook his head, before shrugging Lulubell's arm off.

......

Lavi led Allen down the middle of a pathway, with gnarled trees flanking each side of the walkway. Leaves of all colours hung from the stems and from the branches, throwing a myriad of colours on the two youngsters as they walked beneath the falling leaves. Allen reached her hands out and caught a handful of dying leaves.

"This place is really pretty!"

"Yeah, I know. That's why I brought you here to see the wonders of the world. You know, the world really isn't so bad."

"Mmm." Allen nodded absently, her eyes glassy. There was once a time when Mana had brought her to a park and danced with her amidst the swirling leaves. That happened so long ago…

Lavi stared at her curiously. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just that it's been a really long time since I last had the time and energy to enjoy myself. It was so long ago when I last had the opportunity to walk to a nearby park and watch the autumn leaves drift down, and feel the wind in my hair. And I was remembering my childhood."

"You poor girl." Lavi patted her shoulder sympathetically. "You must have had a hard life so far."

"Yeah." Allen nodded.

"Care to tell me about it?" Lavi did really want to know more about Allen's life. He was concerned for her wellbeing, both as a friend and as a potential boyfriend.

Allen lifted her eyes to Lavi's, her expression questioning. How Lavi loved the way her white eyebrows curled so delicately around her large eyes, and the way her pupils always looked so full and empty at the same time. She looked tired too, he noticed. He steered her towards a bench. 'Come on, let's sit down before we here your story."

"You wouldn't want to hear my life story. It's depressing."

"Go on." Lavi smiled encouragingly.

Allen hesitated, before taking a deep breath and starting. "I can't remember who my birth parents are. They have never appeared in my memory before. In fact, I think they abandoned me at birth because of my deformed arm. So I grew up in an orphanage, with hundreds of other similarly abandoned children. It was a hard life, that. No one in the orphanage really cared. The adults didn't even try to stop the bullying and the teasing."

"You got teased a lot?"

"What do you think? Kids can hardly be expected to be polite and all. The other children laughed at my arm and my white hair. Some even tried to pull my hair off to see if the hair that regrew would be white too. So I was glad when Mana came along." _The orphanage was awful. It was hell, even_.

"Who's Mana?"

"Mana was my adoptive father. He was an awesome man. He cared for me like I was his own child. We went around and travelled because he performed in a circus. So for a while I had some respite from the bad luck that has always followed me."

"Uh huh?"

"Then everything changed when Mana died. An accident at the circus where he worked killed him. I was left all alone." _And I was so frightened that I would have to go back to that damned orphanage. More than that, I was afraid that I would never be loved ever again. it was awful, being in the caravan they laid his body in… there were noises I'd never imagined before, creakings and murmurings, and then I heard a voice telling me that I should fly with the wind, for the circus folk wouldn't care for me. Throughout the cold, cold, night I realised that my beloved parent was gone, for ever. No one would care for me now… _

"Oh."

"Yeah. Then this friend of Mana's – he called himself Marian Cross – came up to me and offered me a place to stay. Life with him has been hell, too."

"Why? Did he sexually abuse you or hit you or something?" Lavi looked very worried now.

"Nah. Cross only goes for mature, sophisticated, rich women with pretty faces and voluptuous bodies. I'm not his cup of tea, luckily. But he's dumped all his financial matters to me. He racks up huge debts as he goes about drinking and womanizing, and then he expects ME to pay for it! So I've had to take up an odd job or two to pay off his silly debts. And they amount to millions!" Allen seemed to shrink at the very thought. Lavi noticed it, and put his arm around her to lend some comfort.

"But at least he's gone away for now. When he was still around I always felt like slapping him for making me do all the menial work."

Lavi squeezed her shoulder.

"But at least it's made a stronger person. Thanks for listening Lavi."

"It's okay. So that was why you were sitting on the ledge that day!"

"I wasn't planning to jump, you know." Allen fixed Lavi with a puzzled stare. "I was there for some peace and quiet."

"Poor Allen." Lavi smiled again. "Shall we run down this path and see who can run faster?"

"Sure!" Allen grinned. Her sad thoughts had disappeared in an instant.

For some minutes, the two dropped their various burdens and ran down the path like the children they really were.

......

"Yu!" Lavi poked his head around the door. "I'm back!"

"YOU. Stop calling me that!" Kanda glared at him from the desk, fingering Mugen.

"Guess what!" Lavi slung his arms around Kanda's shoulders. "Allen told me her life story!"

"Che. And is that any reason why you should jump around like that?" Kanda asked, trying to shove Lavi's arm away from his body.

"She has had a hard life, poor girl. You know, her parents abandoned her because of her deformed arm –"

"Shut up about the moyashi already." Kanda's mouth and brain didn't quite agree on what he had said though, and a voice in his head told him that it really did want to know more about Allen.

"As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, Yu, Allen's parents abandoned her. She lived in an orphanage before her foster father whisked her away. Then he died and this man named Cross became her guardian and then he ran away a month or so ago and left Allen to clear up his debts!" Lavi pretended not to hear Kanda's last statement.

"…"

"She's so pitiful, the poor dear. Ehh, Yu, don't you have any pity at all?"

"Che."

But deep down, Kanda couldn't help but shiver at the horrors that had manifested in the girl's life. _Poor moyashi._

For the tenth time that week, Lavi wondered why Kanda kept shaking his head so violently.

* * *

A/N: I feel bad for inserting Lulubell into the fic like that. She won't play a big role here... I just needed someone to act as a foil against Allen, oops D: She deserves more characterisation, but still. Well yeahh, as usual, reviews are much appreciated, and if you have any constructive comments, i'd be glad to hear them (: Thanks for reading!

And, christmas is nearly over where i live, but anyway, here's wishing everyone a merry christmas, anyway!

Last thing. Here's a thank you to Winter, plasticfries, Kichou, SeikaDragon, TheDreamingDreamer, Astaline Nihtingale, hawktakesflight, RedLining, , skepsis66 and AnimeCrazed121 for reviewing! (:


	5. Beauty and the Beast

Disclaimer: i own nothing!~

* * *

Allen looked at the first book, tattered thing that it was, sitting on her lap. She opened it and skimmed through the story. It was only a fairy tale - the well known Beauty and the Beast. A children's classic. Allen smiled as her eyes scanned the page; it had once been her favourite childhood story. It was amazing how one girl managed to change a man for the better. If only she could do the same with Kanda... True, she was no beauty, but Kanda could be pretty beastly sometimes. He needed to change his icy attitude and heartless behaviour. It was -

"Allen?" Lenalee popped her head around Allen's door. "I'm bored. Do you want to go shopping?"

"Mmm?" Allen looked up from a pile of books all lying around her. "Shopping?"

"Yes, shopping. Let's go to town today! You need some new clothes, too."

"Alright, I guess I could accompany you."

Giggling and chatting, the two girls made for town, where they headed to the largest shopping mall. Walking into the nearest departmental store, the two busied themselves with searching for their own preferred types of clothes. Soon, Lenalee came up to Allen with various tops.

"Hey, Allen, try these? I think they'd look good on you."

Allen leafed through the articles of clothing. "Nah. These will make me look even skinnier."

"Are you sure? Lavi likes looking at girls who wear tops like these!" Lenalee insisted.

"What has Lavi got to do with anything?" Allen asked, a white eyebrow raised.

"Oh. Nothing much." With a rather high-pitched giggle unlike her usual tinkling laugh, Lenalee hastily made for the changing rooms.

Over lunch, Lenalee broached the subject that she'd been curious about for quite some time.

"Ehhh, Allen?" There was no answer. Lenalee looked up from her own plate to behold Allen Walker in all her hungry glory. Lenalee almost cried out in vexation. Allen was literally pouring her food into her mouth without any consideration of the finer points of eating in public. Girls weren't supposed to eat like that!

"Allen Walker!" Lenalee glared at her friend.

"Uhh, yes?" Allen finally put her bowl down.

"Are you that hungry that you have to resort to eating like this?"

"Oops, sorry, I won't do it again." Allen said, giving one of her warm smiles, which immediately melted Lenalee's annoyance.

"Anyway, Allen, I want to ask you something. Do you like Lavi?"

Allen stared in Lenalee in shock. Her eyes were wide open, and her mouth folded into an extended oval. "Me? Like Lavi?"

"Yeah. Do you like him?"

"No! Of course I don't!" Allen could not believe the words she was hearing. _How could Lenalee even think that! Haven't I already given everyone many hints that I have absolutely no feelings for Lavi?_

"Come on Allen, don't be shy. I won't tell anyone about anything. Come on, spill already!" Lenalee smiled expectantly at her friend as she said those words.

"Lenalee," Allen leaned across the table to make her point, "I have no feelings for Lavi. At all. I'm serious."

Lenalee searched Allen's eyes for signs of lies. But she saw no trace of deceit in Allen's large blue-grey eyes. With a sigh, she nodded. It was too bad for Lavi; the poor guy was going to suffer a shock when he learned of Allen's non-existing feelings.

"He likes you, you know."

"I've been trying my best to get him to see that I don't like him that way." Allen said, eyes downcast. She hated the thought of hurting anyone.

"Oh. I won't tell him you know. You and Lavi have to sort the problem out yourselves. Good luck." Lenalee patted Allen's hand reassuringly. "It'll turn out okay."

*

That night, Allen found herself walking along a deserted road as she trudged her way back to the campus. Shopping with Lenalee had been tiring, and she'd had to nip over to the bank in the evening to settle some pressing financial matter in Cross's name, which explained why she was currently waking along a poorly-lit street, carrying a bag of clothes, and all tired out from her active day. She sighed. The darkness was all very well, but she couldn't really see around her.

_What if I meet a pervert! But I'm in the campus already – there shouldn't be a problem, right? But even the campus isn't safe!_

Thoughts of the sort constantly whirled in her brain. She tried to push her legs on to greater speed. Taking deep breaths, she almost ran her way towards the halls of residence, when she hit something rather hard. That hard something was also rather warm. And that hard something was covered in cloth of some sort.

The hard something caught himself back from the realms of fantasy he'd grudgingly allowed himself to enter, and tried to stop thinking about a certain white-haired girl who streamed though his thoughts and refused to leave no matter what he did. She'd been really odd the other day – treating him coldly when he met her and Lavi. She was usually a most friendly person, even to him, so it stang to remember the cold, hurt glance she had shot at him. What did she have to feel hurt about, anyway? And there was still his problem with his senior who stuck to him like a persistent cat, with claws of steel.

Then, the hard something _grunted_, as he came back to reality and found an unknown person stuck to his back.

Allen gasped and started hitting the hard thing with her lone shopping bag. Thwack. She'd barely gotten in one hit before a pair of cold hands seized her wrists. In the vague light from the distant streetlamps and the barely-there moon, she thought she saw a pair of dark eyes glower at her. _Who's this? Should I kick his groin first, or should I scream first? Maybe I should do both at the same time…then maybe I should run away. Oh damn Cross for getting me into this situation! He and his freaking debts are going to be the death of me… _

The dark eyes continued to stare at her face. Suddenly, the iron-grip on her wrists loosened, and her arms dropped limply to her sides.

"Ehh moyashi, what are you doing, running into people like that!" A well-known voice seeped towards her through the darkness, from the direction of the dark eyes.

"Kanda?" Relief flooded through Allen. His voice had always intrigued her, but now, the very words and tone danced around Allen, and intoxicated her with their presence. She forgot all her preoccupation with the fact that Kanda knew an attractive girl named Lulubell.

"I was just a little frightened." Allen pouted, but she was still really glad to see Kanda in her time of need. She was always glad to see him nowadays, but right now it amazed her how warmth radiated from his body the way she had never thought it could. He looked and acted like an ice king, but here he was, like a sun descended to earth, warming the cockles of her heart.

"Che."

Kanda started walking again. He had been surprised when something unknown had barrelled into his back so unexpectedly. He'd turned around expecting to find a mugger or two trying to snatch his money. What he hadn't expected was to end up holding a pair of thin wrists that belonged to a body with a rather familiar head of white hair. The surrounding light was poor, but he'd managed to discern the patch of white seemingly floating around in the darkness.

Only, too, he hadn't expected the rapid pulse rate that followed. The moment he'd realised the identity of the person behind him, his heart had started to pump so much harder. He'd almost forgotten how to speak too, though he did manage to open his mouth in the end. Embarrassed by this sudden influx of new emotions in his usually ascetic mind, he walked away.

"Kanda! Bakanda! Wait for me!" Allen started walking after him.

* * *

A/N: This is short D: But i really haven't the faintest idea of how to lengthen it without destryoing the overall plot, so yeah. And school's starting in a week for me, so i'll be pretty busy then, which means i have to use the remaining time on developing my new plot for another story. School sucks, though i do miss my classmates...

And of course, here's wishing everyone a happy new year! May 2010 be a lovely year for you!

A shoutout to my reviewers: thank you hawktakesflight, Astaline Nihtingale, SeikaDragon, SALADS, AnimeCrazed121, and Kichou! And of course thank you if you put this on story alert! (:


	6. Che

Disclaimer: i own nothing!

* * *

Kanda was not used to his new heart. It beat entirely too fast nowadays for his liking, especially when he was around Allen, or thinking about her. He had always prided himself on being someone who never let his emotions get in the way of anything. But right now, he couldn't even concentrate or meditate, because that damned Moyashi kept getting tangled up in his thoughts whenever he tried to relax and meditate – she was just about knotted into every single emotion he was capable of feeling. Even when he emptied his mind to fall asleep, her smile would appear in the dark recesses of his cold mind, emanating warmth, and the corners of her eyes would flick upwards as if they were telling him, _stop sulking and get some good rest_.

It didn't help that his mind kept replaying her daily, mundane actions in his head; every now and then, he would find himself remembering how Allen always talked in a friendly tone, how she smiled before she turned to leave, how her hair fell about her shoulders, trailing softly in the gentle breeze… To make matters worse, that baka usagi was now pacing away right in front of him, without a scrap of regard for the ancient tradition of mediation, yabbering away as if it were the easiest thing to do to filter his voice out of Kanda's radar. And he was talking in a very loud voice, supposedly discussing certain important matters with his annoyed roommate.

"Lenalee seems interested in this guy called Bak Chan. I heard he plays for the national soccer team. He lives in our dorm, you know. I saw him that day, when Lenalee and I were at the café, and she practically spent the whole time ogling him." Lavi said expectantly, more gossip hanging perceptibly in the cool air of the air-conditioned room.

Kanda frowned, trying to block out Lavi's voice.

"You know, Kanda, I think a cockroach might have crawled into your soba this morning," Lavi remarked sometime into his joyful tirade. "You ate it, of course."

Kanda raised a thin eyebrow but did not speak.

"You're just like Allen sometimes. Both insist on eating whatever it is they need to eat… and it doesn't even matter if roaches or flies or worms or whatever gross things appear in the soup." Lavi droned on, seemingly unaware of Kanda's gathering annoyance.

"And, Yuu-chan, I think I like Allen." Lavi finally came to the point, after a whole half hour wasted on dissecting various issues that had happened over the past week, after discussing (one-sidedly) if Lenalee would soon find herself a boyfriend, after cheekily trying to ask Kanda what he did with Lulu Bell when he had to be around her, and after prophesising that his guardian, Bookman, would soon find himself a pretty young lady with whom he could settle down.

Kanda growled and tried to squeeze his eyes shut. But calm and peace still evaded him even as Lavi's words caused Allen's image to surface in the choppy waters of his warped mind. _I will not think about the Moyashi. She is a stray hair that needs to be set in place. No thinking, Kanda. Close your eyes and breathe. _

"Yu, I think I like Allen. Did you hear me?" Lavi squatted in front of Kanda and waved his hand in front of his friend's face.

Kanda swatted the hand away. "Yes I heard you. I've been hearing you say that for the past month and longer!"

"I'm thinking of telling her about my feelings sometime this week. Maybe even tomorrow. I'll do it as soon as I can get some roses, in fact."

Kanda sighed. He'd heard this a few times before. Lavi always tried to tell him about how he would go about confessing to the girls whom he liked. There had been quite a few before Allen; the one he remembered the most vividly was a girl named Chomesuke whom Lavi had once tried to date. Unfortunately for him she had died in a car accident right before the date, causing Lavi to rush to the morgue to mourn over the mangled corpse of his love, with bone-filed skin and shuttered eyes for joyful company. Lavi had been really upset then, and he had thrown a huge fuss and cried and generally made life unpleasant for his friends, including Kanda. So Kanda had a reason to sigh when he thought of what Lavi might do if Allen rejected him.

"You don't think it'll work out, do you? I heard you sigh!" Lavi demanded.

Kanda's only audible response was another sigh. His eyes were closed.

"I really do like Allen a lot. I hope she feels the same way about me too. I mean, she's friendly enough to me and all. Who knows, she might just fling herself onto me and hug me when I give her the roses!" Lavi continued to blabber on, unaware of Kanda's growing discomfort.

In his head, Kanda could picture the scene. Autumn leaves and colourful trees in the background, and Lavi and Allen in the foreground. Lavi would kneel to give Allen the flowers, and then perhaps, Allen might accept them. At this, Kanda's heart gave a painful jolt. The scene he had just imagined cut through his thoughts, slicing through his inner calm with frightening ease. His thoughts, usually collected, ran wild, racing through his brain. Adrenaline started to build up, and he felt like he was being steeped in volcanic ash. The pain was unbearable. Undulating, it washed over him in repeated waves.

And then Kanda saw them in his head again. Only, this time, Allen was in Lavi's arms as she kissed him goodbye. He saw the white-haired head locked against the red-topped one, and he could feel his pulse speeding up. Kanda opened his eyes to clear the cobwebs of nightmares away.

Lavi was still pacing around, blabbering away about his affections for the Moyashi. "So, I think I'm going to tell her tomorrow. What do you think?"

Kanda looked up at Lavi. His friend's face was aglow with the excitement of love. _I can't possibly tell him that I… that I …that I have weird feelings for… that I love the Moyashi!_ Kanda's eyes narrowed to slits. He usually denied it, but Kanda did like Lenalee and Lavi. He did love them in his own special way, for they were friends. Not that Kanda ever used that word to describe the bonds holding them together; the word 'friendship' was just not in his vocabulary. But he did know that he couldn't just take away Lavi's happiness like that. After all, Lavi had been the first to stake a claim on Allen's affections. He was of ancient samurai stock, and honourable swordsmen such as he was did not lay claim to the lovers of their friends, no matter how much their own hearts hurt from love denied.

"Che." That was Kanda's sole elegant reply. He couldn't tell Lavi, _okay, please do, I wish you luck_, because he didn't exactly want Lavi to succeed. And if he said that, he would be nothing better than a damned hypocrite, which of course he wasn't. But he couldn't tell Lavi that he liked Allen too, because he couldn't find it in himself to do so. Which left 'che' as the only politically correct answer.

Lavi stared at him, smirked, and left to get the roses.

As the door slammed to a close, Kanda stood up, all his patience used up. Mediation would have to wait. What was a lovesick young man to do? He couldn't deny his feelings, but he couldn't give vent to them in reality, either. With a grimace rarely seen on his empty face, he drew Mugen out of its sheath and started to fend off an imaginary foe, a foe with red hair, preferably, and green eyes the colour of envy.

* * *

A/N: Okay this is the last update before school starts for me, on Monday. Not that i'll go on a hiatus - i'll probably only update on fridays from now on, because i intend to work hard this year and get an A for every single subject, much as i dread the tonnes of homework that will soon come my way. So yeahh i hope you liked this. It's pretty short too. Sorry if this wasn't exactly good :/

Heh, I've been reading A Tale of Two Cities recently omg it's so depressing. I love the ending, but it's more than i can do to stop myself from crying over every sentence. Dickens is awesome HAHAHA.

Well yeahh that's about it. Thanks for reading! And reviews are appreciated - constructive criticism is always welcome!


	7. I Can't

**Disclaimer: I own nothing HAHA.**

* * *

Allen started violently as her cell phone rang. The bright ringtone roused her from the daze she was in – a daydream perhaps, with mythical knights and idealistic romance, and a cold prince who she could reform – and she started searching for the phone, before finally finding it behind a pillow on her bed.

She picked the vibrating phone up. "Hello?"

"Yo, Allen!" Lavi's irrepressibly cheerful voice came out from the phone. He sounded excited; it made her wonder if he had devised yet another new and mysterious scheme. It was probably something with which he could trick others… that wasn't too bad, as long as he didn't play the trick in question on her.

"Nice to hear from you, Lavi, but –" _I'm busy, my friend, with dreaming happy dreams right now!_

"Aww, there's no need to be so formal with me!" Lavi chirped happily, unable to sense Allen's slight unwillingness to talk to him.

"Right. Why are you calling me, then?"

"Uh. Well, I have something to ask you." Allen noted the subtle change in Lavi's tone. She was curious now, and pushed all thoughts concerning blue-haired males to the back of her mind.

"About?"

"Well, you see, it's like that. I… uh…" Lavi's now-soft voice trailed away into a hoarse whisper that Allen couldn't quite catch. It sounded like '_canned supper for right'_ to her. What that meant, she really didn't know, but it sounded promising enough. Maybe Lavi was planning to buy cans of preserved food for her. Preserved food wasn't exactly delicious, but she was hungry a lot of the time, and having canned food nearby would undeniably help to resolve her hunger issues.

"Pardon?"

"Let's have dinner together tonight." Lavi finally got the words out of his mouth without stumbling over a single syllabus, not that he was usually in the habit of doing so, of course.

"Oh. Sure. Where?" _Dinner sounds good. I'm already hungry right now._

"Just… wear something nice. I'll tell you where later." Lavi hung up with that.

Allen scratched her white hair and shrugged. She tossed the phone back onto the bed and began to daydream again, about long-haired princes with ice king looks and icy manners to boot. Her thoughts were of the fantasy kind, where shadows and humans walked side by side, both equally real. In her light daydreams she was a pretty princess who met a foul-mouthed, unsociable prince one day. And of course, they fell in love, as such dream royalty are apt to do. Slowly, gradually, the prince grew warmer and less icy as his love for the princess grew. Slowly, the princess learnt to share her burdens with those around her. Slowly, both…

_Dingdong_.

_Ohh no, Lavi's here!_ Panicking, Allen glanced at the sky. Outside, the world was clad in a myriad of pastel colours, with dim shadows and trailing whispers of darkness weaved into the soft light. She rushed to stand up and dusted off her jeans.

"Give me a minute, Lavi!" Allen called out as she ran to her wardrobe to change.

Lavi had said to wear something nice. What would be nice without being too dressy? Allen combed her rather scanty wardrobe. Jeans would do. _And maybe a more dressy shirt?_ It wouldn't do to have Lavi thinking that she was going all out to attract him, she told herself for the umpteenth time, because she didn't feel even a shard of romantic attraction towards him.

She was surprised when she opened the door. There Lavi stood, in all his tuxedo-ed glory. Allen ogled him, her grey-blue eyes taking in his broad chest, and the lean figure that held well against the folds of the tight-fitting tuxedo. _I never knew that he had such a good figure._ Lavi stared back at Allen. He felt a flicker of hope in his chest when he felt her eyeing him. That same flicker soon disappeared, though, when he realised that she wasn't exactly dressed to complement his attire.

"Uh, Allen? I told you to wear something nice…" Lavi's voice trailed off again, as his lone eye took in the frilly top and the battered jeans below. "This isn't exactly what I meant by nice."

"Oh. Does it really matter, though? You know I'm not comfortable wearing all those dressy stuff. Way too girly for me."

Lavi glanced at his watch. "I guess its fine. We're running late, anyway, so let's just hurry." He pulled her hand and headed out of the hall.

Lavi could feel that tiny pulse through his fingers, as he rushed her out of the hall, into a waiting taxi. Her skin was smooth under his large hand, and surprisingly soft. Her pulse though, was absolutely normal, as far as he could tell; it didn't speed up at his touch; neither were her pale hands clammy. It was not a good sign. He sighed and willed himself to remain optimistic. There was always hope, though he didn't really think so.

They reached the hotel in time. Lavi had made a reservation earlier that morning, and he meant to surprise Allen. When the girl saw the lavish decorations, she gaped.

Lavi drew her chair out for her, and Allen sat down, feeling strangely countrified in the posh setting. She wasn't accustomed to it at all, and ended up fidgeting in her uncomfortably large chair. Lavi sat down opposite her, and suddenly she found a huge bouquet of pink roses being brandished, or so it seemed to her eyes, in her face. She stared stupidly at Lavi, waiting for an explanation, her mind buzzing with a thousand thoughts, with the blue-haired back view of a certain Kanda lurking in the virtual corners.

Lavi was feeling somewhat uncomfortable by then, too. The flowers were still in his hand, and Allen had not made any move to take them. He blinked.

"Allen, I really, really, really like you." Lavi continued holding the flowers out, "I've liked you ever since I saw you that day, sitting on the ledge of the parapet at the roof. That's why I got you to join me and my friends. I did it so that I could get to know you better. I know I'm not the best guy around, but I really do like you. I love you, even. So, will you be my girlfriend?"

Allen watched Lavi's mouth opening, closing and forming various shapes. She felt like she was watching a fish in water, with bubbles of unintelligent conversation filling up the aquatic spaces with the hints of empty promises. She vaguely heard some words like "like", "guy" and "girlfriend". From these she was able to piece up a puzzle even through the mist that was clogging her brain. She felt stupid. But what she did know was that Lavi was trying to get her to go out with him. _But I don't like him!_ Her brain and feelings were protesting.

Allen was still for such a long time that Lavi got worried. Her eyes hadn't moved away from the spot over his shoulder that she had been staring at for the past few minutes.

"Allen?" Lavi tapped her on the shoulder. "Allen? You okay?"

Allen jolted awake, coming out of her reverie. The last aqueous bubbles flitted away from her thoughts as the fish she had conjured up morphed into Lavi's eager, waiting face.

She looked at Lavi with the glistening dews of regret in her blue-grey eyes. "I'm sorry, Lavi. I can't. It's just that I… I don't have any feelings for you."

The flowers fell onto the floor, giving a soft thud as it hit the carpeted ground. Lavi looked up in eloquent silence, hurt hanging palpable in the air, strung dismally among the harmony of soft notes coming from the cello being played.

"I'm sorry." Allen whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm really sorry."

Lavi looked up, near to tears himself. "It's okay. I won't force you. I understand."

Lavi stood up and left, throwing some notes onto the table as payment. Allen, though, remained seated, tears falling now, until a waiter ushered her out. He assured her as he saw her out, "The gentleman you were with has already footed the bill, miss."

* * *

A/N: Ohhh well. I'm beginning to dislike this fic more and more, i'm sorry to say. i don't know why :/ I'm so glad it's friday - it's been a long week. The first week of school saw me taking two tests, and i flunked my math test badly. Great way to start school. But yeahh actually school isn't all that bad, but crap, i'm dead tired. So yeahh. I have no idea what i'm typing.

Heh anyway, thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapter! (:

And of course, thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated, and constructive criticism is welcome haha :D


	8. Entangling Tears

Disclaimer: i own nothing!~

* * *

The wind was unusually ferocious that night; it was dusted with the memories of hurt, dousing the night sky with cold tears. Allen wrapped herself up in a blanket and closed her eyes, though flashes of green eyes and then dark eyes routinely flitted under her eyelids. She was determined not to think about Lavi or Kanda or any other person that night. She needed a good night's rest in order to think properly the next day.

She awoke to a dark dawn. The morning passed in a blur, and it was with a heavy heart that she made her way to the cafeteria for lunch, dreading the thought of seeing Lavi's face as she remembered it – contorted with the untouchable weight of painful emotions. Lenalee and Kanda met her at their usual seat, but Lavi was nowhere to be seen.

"Lenalee, where's Lavi?" Allen asked worriedly. She hoped he hadn't done anything silly like suiciding just because she had refused his affections.

"He left last night, Allen. You told him last night, didn't you?" Lenalee replied.

Allen's eyes opened wide. "How did you know?"

"Kanda found a note this morning on their desk. Lavi said he would be going off for a while because his heart needed healing. And I know that he took you out to dinner yesterday. I can put one and one together to get two, Allen." Lenalee answered.

"Oh. I hope he's okay…" Allen sighed regretfully.

"He'll be okay. It happened before, a couple of times too, but he hasn't died yet. He just needs some quiet." Lenalee tried to reassure Allen.

"You sure?" Allen asked.

"Che, Moyashi, he'll be fine. Now stop babbling!" Kanda glared at Allen. Why was the Moyashi so concerned about Lavi? Surely she couldn't have fallen for him in one night? Kanda felt his heart beating erratically. His irritation was growing.

Allen's only response was to return a glare to Kanda.

After a relatively peaceful lunch without much conversation (Lenalee had tried to keep the conversation going, but Kanda was naturally reticent and Allen was still a little worried about Lavi, so she didn't succeed), the trio headed out to the park to enjoy one of the last days of autumn. Nearly all the trees were bare now, and most of the brightly coloured leaves were gone, lying in desolate heaps of similar dead leaves. Allen saw the empty branches and wanted to cry. Lavi had really been a most wonderful friend to her. And now… she had put a whole distance between herself and him because of a silly thing known as romantic love. The leaves were like their friendship – beautiful and promising, but now slowly dying in the face of a horrible twist of fate.

Kanda heard the tiny sigh that rose from the chest of his white-haired friend. He flinched at the thought that she might be sad about Lavi's departure. _She's mine._ And then he stopped walking and shook his head, as if he were trying to clear his thoughts and chase their airy feet out of the recesses of his mind. _What am I thinking?! _

Unfortunately for Allen, Kanda's sudden movement caught her unawares. Eyes still raking the ground aimlessly, she ended up with her face pressed into Kanda's back. Both stiffened. Kanda's heart almost stopped for a second, and his eyes popped wide open, veins seen in detail beneath the thin skin. Meanwhile, Allen realised that she had not, in fact, smashed into a tree. Rather, she realised, her face was now ensconced in the warm coat that Kanda was wearing. She was touching Kanda!

All too soon, they moved apart; Allen took a step back, while Kanda stepped forward and turned.

"What was that for, Moyashi?" His voice had a threatening quality to it; Allen shivered at the menace it possessed.

"Tsk, Bakanda. You should know better than to stop without warning!" Allen shot back.

Lenalee sighed and shook her head. A migraine was coming on. Why were they always arguing? With another sigh she slipped away to enjoy a cool peaceful afternoon by herself, leaving her arguing friends behind.

"Well, where are your eyes? A normal person wouldn't have her eyes on the floor all the time!"

"Ohh?"

"White-haired freak of a Moyashi." Kanda said in a cutting tone. He regretted his words the instance they left his mouth. The few words seemed to spiral through time and space, first creating an empty void between them, with hurt hanging palpable in the cold autumn air, before they broke the painful, fragile silence with a loud clash.

Allen couldn't believe her ears. Had Kanda just called her a white-haired freak? She turned and ran from him, wiping the shadows of tears off her face with the back of her hand. Had she looked back, she would have seen Kanda looking at her fading figure with a regretful and puzzled expression on his face. He had seen those tear-flecks in the gray islands of her eyes, and had wanted to reach out and apologise, which was something he rarely did. But she had turned and ran away in a matter of seconds, and the hand he was about to extend to pat her shoulder fell limply to his side.

*

The day came to an end in the same fashion that it started. Allen curled up in her armchair, with only her table lamp switched on. On her lap was a book of translated poems. Her fingers traced the words as her eyes took them in.

Did he appear

because I fell asleep

thinking of him?

If only I'd known I was dreaming,

I'd never have wakened.

_I dreamt of Kanda last night. He came up to me and swept me into his strong arms, and told me that he loved me a thousand times. He promised to go with me into the deeps of the world, and to help me in my mission to heal the hurts of the world. I should have realised that it was all a dream, a pretty nightmare shrouded in the hurts of day. Why did I not shake myself awake? Why did I even dream of such a heartless jerk? Maybe he appeared because I thought a tad too much about him yesterday afternoon, just before Lavi came along. But it was a pleasant dream. My dream Kanda is so much more agreeable than the real one. If only I'd known that I was dreaming, I would never have wakened to face this tiresome world. _

Night deepens

with the sound

of a calling deer,

and I hear

my own one-sided love.

_I wonder how Lavi is doing now. Where is he? I hope he's not walking out there in the storm and the thunder. Wherever he is now, is he looking up at the sky, thinking about his one-sided love? Perhaps he's sitting by a clock, watching the minutes tick by as he tries to reinstall his sanity. And here, in the heart of the storm, I sit and listen to the echoes of ill-fated love. Kanda feels nothing for me. I have a clock here too, and the minute hand flies by with all the haste of the living. Night deepens, and I know that Kanda does not care for me, as surely as the fact that there are no deer here. _

This entangling wind

is just like

last autumn's gust.

Only the dew of tears

on my sleeve is new.

_This autumn wind brings nothing new. Last autumn there were similar gusts too. Only, now my tears fall again, but for entirely different reasons. Last year I cried for my non-existent family, for the debts I had to repay. This year, I cry for my misfortune in love, for the people whose feelings I have hurt and for my own hurt feelings too. _

The wind howled loudly, her piercing screech rattling the glass windowpanes. Allen looked up. Lightning flashed, and she saw the entire campus lit in a harsh florescent light, like the backdrop of an old, faded photograph. Fingers of rain tapped against her windows, and she thought she saw the eyes of night peering into her dim room. And Lavi was out there, dancing in the sky with Lady Love in the lightning-lit sky.

Allen shivered. Her mind was playing tricks on her. Guilt and resentment and sleepiness – sleep would be a panacea. She leaned back in her chair, white hair flowing, while the wind and the rain danced outside and mocked the hapless world.

* * *

A/N: It's finally friday again! I've had a horrible day today - I can't decide if I should drop my extra lessons. If I do, I might not be able to read medicine in the future... but I don't like the lessons. Dilemna! D:

Okay that's not the point haha. I apologise if you think this chapter is crappy. The poems were a little extra, perhaps. I don't know, when I wrote this around the end of November I was into Japanese poems. The first two poems were written by Ono no Komachi, while the last was written by Izumi Shikibu. I think the poems are really very pretty haha, so yeahh.

Heh, and of course, thank you to my reviewers! (:

Last of all, thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated, and constructive criticism is welcome (:


	9. Kanda Makes His Move

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

* * *

Sleep was truly quite the panacea. She awoke with her head cleared of all negative thoughts, and she dressed hurriedly, shrugging gently into her clothes. She felt strangely happy; her feet pattered on the cold floor with bouncy rhythms.

Allen was surprised to find Kanda loitering around the entrance of the hall where she stayed. Kanda did not generally loiter, or indeed, do anything without a clear purpose. So, seeing him pace around outside, through the glass doors, made her very curious. With light footsteps, she walked out and stepped in front of him.

She was shocked to see purple shadows under his eyes, and blinked at the traces of exhaustion on his usually near-perfect face. _Since when did Kanda have eye bags?_ She stared speculatively, trying to ignore the swirling feeling rumbling deep in her stomach, that weird, warm, finicky feeling that flickered whenever she looked his way.

"Oi, Bakanda, why do you have eye bags?"

"Che." Kanda shot Allen his usual glare.

Now that the girl was out here with him, he could stop worrying. He'd been afraid that she might run away too, like Lavi did, or that she might hang herself from pure guilt. He came here the night before and stayed out here through the storm and the wind, just to make sure she did not leave to a place where she could kill herself without restraint. At least, that was the reason he gave himself for being there.

"Why so snarky? Are you ever happy, Kanda?" Allen questioned lightly.

"…"

"Eh?"

"Look, Moyashi, I'm sorry for calling you that yesterday." Kanda finally got those words out. He'd thought about it all night, and realised that it was only proper that he apologise, like the honour-bound descendant of samurai stock that he was. But he'd never really apologised much the whole of his life, so the fact that he had to apologise to a girl, never mind that he …sort of liked her, was rather disenchanting.

Allen's jaw dropped. _Did Kanda just apologise to me?_ That was unusual. Her heart began to race again, and her breakfast swooped in her abdomen.

"Oh. It's okay." Allen replied, finally, after she managed to string her emotions and thoughts together in a sequential manner.

"…"

"…"

"Come on, let's move. I'm going to be late for my class, and you're going to be late for yours." Kanda said brusquely.

He walked Allen to her lecture theatre in a strangely compatible silence. Before he walked to his own lecture hall, though, he turned to her.

"Moyashi?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes, Bakanda?" Allen looked at him, her head turned to one side, white hair falling in silky rivers on her collar.

Kanda fidgeted and tried not to let his gaze wander to her. She was really too cute when she gave her funny little poses, and – but no, he wasn't going to think about it.

"Are you free this afternoon?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"I'll meet you at the Cineplex later. I'll message you the details." Kanda turned again and walked off, with nary a good-bye.

Allen rubbed her temples. Am _I hallucinating? Did Kanda just ask me out on a date? Doesn't he like Lulubell? Maybe there is hope in life after all. Every cloud has a silver lining. But poor, poor Lavi… _

......

Kanda rarely paid much attention to his lectures. He already knew what was going on anyway, and he was able to score well without needing to study much. So, the professor didn't bat an eyelid when he realised that Kanda was not taking in a single word. Kanda sat on the hard seat, dark eyes open but unseeing. His thoughts were somewhere else far more pleasant than his current location – they were in Allen-land.

He was thinking about Allen's eyes. They were undoubtedly her best feature; they were large, bright and clear, and were tinted a most unusual colour – blue-grey. He'd never seen a person with such lustrous eyes before. He had noticed, throughout their somewhat unique friendship, that Allen's eyes reflected her emotions.

When upset, her eyes would turn a choppy grey, and the blue would be lost amid the whirl of gloomily grey chaos in those reflective windows to her soul. Joy would make her pupils take on a more prominent shade of blue, though, sparkling like the afternoon sea waves captured in the glinting face of a precious gemstone.

When he'd called her a white-haired freak, her eyes had visibly clouded over and seemed more grey than usual. He had seen the tears there that day, and the pang he had felt then pounded in his heart and made him sorry for his rudeness. Back in his room, he had sat down in the orange-red evening and tried to mediate.

_Kanda sat on the ground, long legs crossed, and hands on his lap. His eyes were closed, arranged on his face so as to suit the frown sprawled over his pale skin. All too soon, that inscrutable pair of dark eyes flashed open and Kanda stood up with a groan. He walked over to the window and stared out. What was the Moyashi doing now? _

_No matter how hard he tried, he could not get her out of his thoughts. Every time he tried to empty his mind, his consciousness would interfere and he would once again see the tear-flecked eyes. The distraught and hurt expression on her face foundered before him, and he squirmed within to think of the pain he must have caused her. _

_Maybe he should apologise, he thought. It wasn't exactly very polite to insult a girl in that manner. _

_He stood at the window for an hour and watched the fiery dusk turn into sombre night, with dark clouds and howling winds dancing in the dim corners of the sky. With a sigh, he picked an umbrella up and made his brisk way to the hall of residence where Allen stayed. _

And Allen's eyes had taken on a blue sheen when he apologised. He'd seen it. So the girl might like him after all. But it really wasn't in Kanda's personality to tell anyone that he loved them. So he just had to play it with gestures and hope that the Moyashi would understand what he was trying to get at.

* * *

A/N: Once again, I apologise for the crappy update. Seriously, TGIF. Fridays are really taxing now, I don't know why. I've resolved my academic dilemna from the previous week; dropped the offending (haha) module for a school-based one. Thanks for all advice given!

But today, another bombshell was dropped on me. In Singapore, we take this subject called GP; its main purpose is argumentative writing and the like. I flunked my essay, and the teacher wants me to go for grammar remedial with her. I think it's absurd that I can actually last what, 6 years, without anyone bemoaning my horrid grammar, and then suddenly, a new teacher decides that my grammar is too ridiculous for words. Seriously, is my grammar that bad? D:

Okay hahaha I shall stop wallowing in self-imposed misery.

This chapter is very much a filler chapter, I think. I hope you liked it, although i don't like it, so yeahh that's about it. Thank you everyone who read and reviewed the previous chapter (:

Last of all, thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated, and constructive criticism is always welcome! (:


	10. Flotsam and Jetsam

**Disclaimer: i own nothing!**

* * *

Kanda tapped his feet impatiently as he stood before the snack counter. The Moyashi was late. He sighed and twirled the single rose he was holding in his hands.

It was a red rose; there was nothing particularly extravagant about it. He'd heard that girls liked roses, so he'd bought one on his way to the Cineplex.

Now that he was waiting, though, the date didn't seem like such a good idea after all. For one, none of the films available appealed to him. He could try to persuade Allen to go for dinner with him, and then leave it at that, but that too presented some problems - He wasn't very enamoured with the idea of spending an entire hour (or longer) with the girl. He would definitely have nothing to say, and the awkward silence that would arise between them would sour their budding attraction for each other.

Kanda sighed.

"Kanda!"

Kanda looked up to see Allen walking towards him, a small smile on her pale face. Quick as lightning, he tucked the rose back into his bag.

"Moyashi." He greeted her.

"So… what movie are we catching?" Allen asked brightly, a little colour tinting the pale clouds of her cheeks as she looked up at him with starry eyes.

"I think it'd be better if we leave the movie till next time." Kanda told her. "Let's just go for dinner today."

"Dinner sounds fine!" Allen agreed.

Over dinner, Allen chattered on about trivial issues, her mind half on food and half on Kanda. Meanwhile, Kanda twirled the rose in his fingers, beneath the table, wondering if he should give the rose to Allen. He didn't feel comfortable holding a rose, much less handing one over to a girl, even if he fancied the girl in question.

He fidgeted. Allen noticed the action. "Do you want to leave now?"

"Yeah, let's go." Kanda said. The anxiety was giving him a headache.

"It's a pretty night, isn't it?" Allen asked as they walked back toward the campus. "The moon is so round… and so bright…"

"Yeah." Kanda said, not wanting to answer but answering anyway.

Allen smiled, and Kanda's heart skipped a beat through the mist clogging his brain. His hand reached out to hand over the rose, but he soon pulled his arm back. _Not yet_, he told himself. _Later._

Later never came. After he deposited Allen at the front door of her hall, he made his way towards his own room in another hall, rose still clutched in his fingers, his nails shredding its stem.

He tossed it in the bin.

There was nothing to it – he wasn't a flower guy and Allen couldn't expect him to bring her a flower. That was all there was to it.

No flowers. No emotions. He was Kanda, and Kanda did not do that sort of thing.

......

"Allen!" Lenalee waved her friend over to her table. "Over here!"

Allen saw the hand amidst the many heads in the cafeteria, and slowly made her way towards the hand.

"Hey Lenalee."

"Are you okay, Allen? You loo really tired and worn out…" Lenalee stared at Allen with growing concern. Allen was easily tired on a normal basis, but she'd never seen Allen with such huge dark circles under her eyes yet.

"I'm fine, Lenalee. I just… I don't know." Allen answered.

"You can always tell me if something's bothering you, you know. We are friends, aren't we!"

"I… I think I like Kanda. And I think he likes me too. But I can't be sure. So I stayed up last night thinking about him and analysing all his actions to see if I could get any clue out of it. In the end I couldn't fall asleep. So my eye bags are bigger than usual." Allen sighed as she picked up her fork.

"Oh! So you like Kanda!" Lenalee's eyes opened in shock. "That's why you refused Lavi!"

"Huh?"

"Hmm. But you don't know if Kanda likes you back…"

"Yeah. He's been bringing me to the movies a couple of times already, but we don't talk much."

"Oh so you two prefer to touch?" Lenalee grinned, a look of understanding on her face.

"What? No! We don't even hold hands. We just go there and catch a film and have supper and maybe talk a bit. That's all. That's why I don't know how he really feels. And I think he likes, or used to like, this hot girl named Lulubell. I'm no match for her..." Lenalee was surprised to see Allen merely picking at her food. That was really unusual.

"You poor girl." Lenalee patted Allen's shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry too much. You know how Kanda is – he isn't very expressive. So he may take quite a long time to really warm up to you. And the fact that he actually brought you out, well, it says something already. You're the first girl he's ever asked out. And about this Lulubell – well, I've never heard him talk about any girl before."

Allen looked up at this. "The first?"

"You didn't know?" Lenalee was a little amused.

"He looks like the sort who has many girls fawning over him…"

"He does. But he ignores them completely, so that's that."

"Oh."

"Trust me, Allen, time will show that he really does like you."

"Okay."

"So, have you completed your homework?"

"Yeah."

Their voices trailed off love and went on to other more mundane subjects, blending in with the incessant chatter in the room.

......

"Kanda! I'm here!" Allen walked up to the tall male, smiling sweetly like she always did. Kanda looked at her as she came up to him, and permitted his mind to admit that Allen did really look cute. But outside, he merely grunted and nodded at her, before turning and entering the cinema.

Allen sighed and went in. Were all their dates destined to be cold affairs with one-sided conversations? Why didn't Kanda talk? He was making life really difficult for her. Seeing him standing there, leaning casually against a pillar, shirt tucked out, looking so… well, beautiful, was enough to make her blush. And now he refused to talk to her, condemning her tongue to endless mindless chatter just to fill in the awkward silence between them.

Kanda made his way to their seats, one eye glancing back to make sure Allen didn't fall down the steps. She could be such a klutz sometimes. He hated the silence between them. He would say something if he could, but sometimes he really was at a loss for words. When he'd seen Allen coming towards him, he had made up his firm mind to say something pleasant. But when she stood less than a foot from him, he could smell the faint fragrance of her perfume. The tendrils of the aromatic perfume danced into his nose, addled his brain, and refused to let him utter a single civil word. So a grunt came out instead. _I hope she isn't angry with me…_

The movie was a particularly lousy one. It was of the horror variety, and Allen had been rather frightened. Once, she clutched at Kanda's arm in fear, but no strong arm came out to comfort her. She shut her eyes and felt anger slowly build up in her, resentment flaring, ready to explode at the last straw.

After the movie, Kanda took Allen to an ice scream stand. He handed Allen a cone, which the anger in her said to push away. So the girl pushed the proffered ice cream away.

"Che, take it."

"No thanks. I'll buy my own." Allen turned towards the stand and made to walk towards it. A sudden weight on her shoulder stopped her.

"Take it." Kanda commanded, sounding rather irritated.

"No." Allen shrugged off his arm.

"I said take it, Moyashi!" Kanda turned Allen around so she was facing him. She saw anger etched into the dark pools that were his eyes. She flinched.

"Why should I? And my name's Allen, not Moyashi, Bakanda!"

"Che."

"Look, I don't know what you're thinking, because you aren't telling me. But I will pay for my own food, thank you very much!" Allen jabbed Kanda in the chest before taking a step back.

Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Don't stare at me like that! I don't know what you're playing at, asking me out and then not bothering to talk to me, staring at me like I'm some curio from some god-forsaken place… Kanda, I'm not an antique that you're bringing out for a walk so it won't get bored in the museum! What the hell do you think you're doing? If you don't like me romantically, say so. Don't drag on like this. I hate this meaningless charade that we're doing! Asking me out to watch movies, and then not talking! You've done this countless times. Do you seriously not care?"

"Moyashi, calm down." Kanda placed his hand on Allen's shoulder to get the girl to breathe and calm down.

"No!" The fury in Allen was taking over her brain. Kanda's highhandedness had succeeded in sparking the flame that burned on resentment. All her grievances spilled out. "If you don't like me, say so now!"

"I…"

"Damn you!" Tears were gathering in her eyes now. The grey eyes flashed at Kanda as he tried to calm the girl down. "You think I don't know what you're thinking? I know you regret asking me out. You'd rather go out with that blondie, that Lulubell you like so much. Go then! Why are you still here? I saw you this morning, talking to her, standing so close that your bodies were touching. And you've never stood so close to me before!"

Kanda stared at her, momentarily speechless. _What is she talking about?_

"Damn you! Damn you and your feelings!" Allen turned and ran away from Kanda, through the seething crowd, away, to a quiet place where she could cry in peace.

Kanda watched the running figure, suddenly tired. He needed a rest. His legs felt like jelly and his mind buzzed with increasing exhaustion. Something rather foreign to him – the emotion known as sadness, settled into his once-stony heart and hatched there, filling his emotional void with a crushing pain that rendered him unable to think. He groped his way back to his quarters.

* * *

A/N: I finally updated! Okay actually it hasn't been that long – what, it's been only 2 weeks? Right. Hahaha uhhh I hope you liked this chapter. I'm quite ambivalent towards this. I didn't plan to write the first part (you know, the first date), but I inserted it today because it's Valentine's Day! I don't really make much sense, do I? xD

Yupps I don't think I have anything else to say. So yeahh thank you everyone who reviewed the previous chapter.

Thanks for reading this chapter too. Reviews are welcome! And ohhh – happy CNY and happy Valentine's Day! (:


	11. Denouement

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

* * *

The cold war between Allen and Kanda lasted a grand total of two weeks. Both ignored the other for the entire duration. This unfortunate turn of fate made Lenalee extremely irritated, she being the proverbial friend stuck between the two halves of a quarrelling couple.

Luckily for them all, Lavi (his cheerfulness restored) decided to come back at this very appropriate time. His arrival did something that no one expected it to do – Lavi's good-natured interference in the matter caused the two quarelling lovers to make up.

Exactly two weeks after the explosive quarrel, Lenalee awoke to find something rather spring-like about the atmosphere. It was still winter, but the sun was shining brightly, for the first time in days. She went about her lessons with a light heart, and stepped lightly into the cafeteria for lunch feeling somewhat hopeful and optimistic.

Having snagged a table, she sat and waited for Kanda and Allen to turn up, which they soon did, seperately. They settled into chairs on either side of her and ignored each other as they ate quietly. Lenalee was puzzled. So the tension between the two hadn't abated yet. So what was the cause of her optimism?

Could it be –

"Oh my gosh!" Lenalee gasped in surprise.

She turned around to identify the idiotic person who had frightened her by putting his hand on her unsuspecting shoulder. Her eyes took in the untidy red hair, the scruffy attire, and the green eye.

"Lavi! You're back!" Lenalee smiled. Allen and Kanda looked up in surprise, both shocked into doing the same thing, despite their unspoken consensus to not follow each other in their movements.

"Hey everyone." Lavi was as cheerful as ever. "Nice to see you all again."

Allen looked worried. Her mind buzzed with the monochrome memories of a certain day when Lavi had left her with an ashen face and an empty eye.

She stood up and faced Lavi. "Lavi, I'm really sorry about that day…"

"Don't be. I'm over it already, no worries." Lavi flashed his playful grin at her, as debonair as always.

Kanda intercepted it, and he could feel his insides curdling into a solid leaden mass that weighed him down. The heaviness overcame him and fuelled his anger. Why was Lavi talking to Allen in such a flirtatious manner?

But Lavi then turned his attention to Kanda. "Why so sour to see me, Yuu-chan?"

"Che, baka usagi."

Lunch that day was finally normal since Lenalee and Lavi made merry, with Allen speaking every now and then. Kanda cordoned himself off from the conversation, but remained civilly seated till they decided to leave.

Only, Lavi noticed the weird silence between Allen and Kanda, and was puzzled. The last time he checked, the two were fond of quarrelling and fighting during the many lunches they had had together. He tackled Lenalee after lunch with his many questions.

"Eh, Lenalee, what's with the cold war between Allen and Yu?"

"Oh, you noticed?" Lenalee looked worried.

"You think?" Lavi stared at her, bemusement written all over his face.

"It's rather complicated…" Lenalee's voice trailed off. "I don't know if I should tell you…"

"Go on. I'm over Allen already, if that's what you're worried about. I have a new target now." Lavi winked at Lenalee.

"Well, Kanda and Allen have started dating." Lenalee replied uneasily.

"Yepps, I knew it. But this is a really funny form of dating... Do they ignore each other whenever they see each other? Is that their preferred form of communication?" Lavi pondered, finger on his chin.

"No. They quarrelled, about two weeks ago. Apparently Kanda isn't the best person to go on a date with, so Allen got mad. He only took her out to watch films and then he didn't talk much to her. You know, that sort of thing. Plus Allen's got it into her head that he prefers Lulubell… And you know how Kanda's like – he won't apologise. I've been in a pretty situation for the past two weeks!" Lenalee sighed. "I'm really at my wits' end."

"You're right. They do need a push in the right direction."

"Ehh?"

"Hmmm. Then I guess it's time, for Operation Get-Kanda-and-Allen-to-Talk!" Lavi thrust his fist into the air, replicating the Superman pose.

"Okay! Count me in!" Lenalee punched Lavi lightly in the shoulder.

......

"Here's the battle plan." Lavi pointed at the words he'd scribbled on the paper.

"I can't read those wriggles, Lavi." Lenalee glared at the redhead.

"Oops, sorry. So anyway, we have three approaches. If Plan A fails we go on to Plan B. If Plan B fails we still have Plan C. This will be a multi-faceted method of problem solving!" Lavi gave a diabolical grin.

"Mmm. So I'll give Allen a call now? You have the necessary materials?" Lenalee asked her comrade.

"Yes. Set Plan A into action now!"

Lenalee pressed the call button on her cell. "Hey Allen? You free tonight? Lavi and I are going clubbing. Join us?"

"Nah, I'd rather not." A rather soft voice issued from the phone.

"Kanda isn't coming, if that's what you're worried about. Come on, let's all go together!"

"Alright." Allen hung up shortly after. Lenalee turned to Lavi and grinned.

"Plan A's in action!"

......

The nightclub was crowded and noisy as usual. Allen, Lavi and Lenalee had to fight their way in through the throngs of other humans who were determined to have fun. They found seats at the bar counter and ordered their drinks. Unfortunately for Lavi and Lenalee, Allen was a teetotaller and she merely got herself a glass of water.

Soon, guys and girls came over to the trio. Girls in low-cut tops and flirty dresses came up to chat with Lavi, while various males went over to flirt with Allen and Lenalee. Before long, Allen found herself talking to a hulking man who kept staring at her décolletage.

Allen felt rather uncomfortable and crossed her arms. Why had she listened to Lenalee? Earlier, at the hostel, Lenalee had walked into Allen's room with a slinky red dress draped over her arm and a determined expression on her face. She'd forced Allen into the dress, even though Allen felt rather uneasy in the low-cut dress, not that she had much to show of course.

Lavi saw the man talking to Allen, and decided it was time to conduct the follow through for Plan A. He signalled to Lenalee across the group of girls gathered around him, swivelling around to allow her a better view of his signal.

Thus, Lenalee dialled Kanda's number.

"Hello Kanda?" She asked.

"What is it?" Kanda growled into the phone.

"We're at a club now, you know."

"Okay. Is that any reason why you should call me?"

"Allen's being threatened by this large guy. He's been bugging her for some time already."

"Che."

"Aren't you even worried?"

"The baka usagi is there, isn't he? He can settle that." Kanda hung up.

Lenalee shook her head at Lavi. _Time for Plan B!_

After a while, Lavi picked up his cell and called Kanda. "Yu!"

"Stop calling me that. And why are you even calling me, anyway?"

"Just so you know, Yu, Allen's flirting with a handsome guy right now."

"Che."

"Not a jealous man, are you? Too bad, then. She might just dump you for him." Lavi tried to goad his friend.

Kanda hung up again. Lavi shook his head at Lenalee.

"Looks like Plan C is inevitable." Lavi sighed. He reached into his pocket and dug out a sleeping pill, which he proceeded to dissolve in Allen's cup of water. He walked over to Allen and offered the girl the glass. She drank everything in one gulp.

Allen hadn't had dinner before drinking the water, so the two made sure to get themselves and Allen into a cab immediately after. She soon fell unconscious. After dragging Allen back into her bed at the hostel, Lavi called Kanda again.

"Hey Yu. Don't interrupt me. Allen fainted suddenly, for no obvious reason."

Lavi could hear a sudden penetrating silence at the other end. A voice close to its original tone, though a little shaky, asked, "Where is she now?"

"We brought her back."

Kanda hung up for the third time. He was trying not to panic. Hesitating only to grab his coat, he ran out the door in the direction of the hall of residence where Allen stayed. He ran with the wind, soaring through the falling snow. Dark hair streamed behind the soaring figure, like tendrils of moonlight sucked into an abyss and then spun out again.

Lavi opened the door of Allen's room for Kanda, and was surprised to see his friend all sweaty and red in the face. He had never known that Kanda could look like this; the guy appeared dry and pale even after a marathon. _He must really have run all the way here with all the speed he could muster. What should I say if he asks me why I brought Allen to the pub? _

Without a word, Kanda pushed past Lavi, a frosty glint in his dark eyes. He headed straight for Allen's bed, where the girl slept, pale and tired-looking, with enormous dark circles under her pretty eyes.

Lenalee smiled gently, and pulled Lavi out of the room with her.

The last they saw, Kanda was clutching Allen's hand as he knelt by her bed.

* * *

A/N: Heh this is the denouement already. I'm sorry if this didn't flow very well… I'm half-asleep already :/ also, I'm not sure if you can actually dissolve a sleeping pill in water. It doesn't sound plausible, but whatever lahh.

Tired tired tired (:

Thanks for reading! Reviews are much appreciated. And of course, thank you to those who reviewed the previous chapter! :D


	12. Twenty Roses

Disclaimer: I own nothing! (:

* * *

"Moyashi." Kanda wrapped his tongue around the Moyashi's name, enjoying the way his tongue wrapped itself around the soft vowels. "Allen."

He slowly stretched his left arm out till it touched Allen's hands. Tentatively, he placed his left hand on top of her hands, glad to feel the warmth emanating from her pale body. After a short while, he finally placed his right hand on Allen's head, flexing his fingers slowly. Almost automatically, his long, thin fingers worked their way through Allen's soft hair, feeling the velvety silkiness of the strands.

His dark eyes focused on Allen's peaceful face. The hand ruffling through the hair slid down to rest on Allen's soft cheek. He had longed to touch the cheek in question for some time now, to just reassure himself that Allen really was there.

His cold hand rested against her cheek, fingers tracing the long red scar on her face. His face inched closer to hers, taking in her entire appearance.

He loved the way her long eyelashes curled against her double eyelids, almost like a porcelain doll's. He was amazed by the smoothness and luminescence of her pale skin, almost like the glowing face of the full moon in the dark night sky. He loved her thin lips, even, because it was a part of her. He loved her, flaws and all – he was not a playboy like Lavi after all. He could accept her physical imperfections – the scar, the deformed arm, the white hair, the lack of height, even her straight figure. These were nothing to him.

He could accept anything, as long as she was fine. _Why did she faint? Lavi forgot to tell me… _Kanda sent a suspicious glance towards the now-closed door. Were Lenalee and the idiot Lavi behind Allen's sudden fainting stance?

Outside the room, Lenalee moved away to let Lavi have his turn at peeking in through the keyhole.

"Ehh, Lavi, shouldn't the effect of the sleeping pill be wearing off now?" Lenalee asked.

"Yeah, it should be. That's why this is the climax! It determines whether out plans have failed or succeeded!"

"Hmm."

"Oh, look! Allen's beginning to stir!" Lavi flashed Lenalee an excited look.

Indeed, Allen was beginning to regain her consciousness. Groaning, she fidgeted in bed, flailing her thin arms mildly as she struggled to free herself from the thick blanket. Kanda heard the groan and looked up, surprised at Allen's sudden movements.

Allen opened her eyes, only to find Kanda's deep blue ones staring back at her. She screamed and pulled her blanket over her clothes.

"Bakanda? What're you doing here?" Allen shrieked breathlessly, panic colouring her words.

"Che, Moyashi, calm down. I didn't do anything to you, and anyway, you're fully clothed."

Allen looked down and saw herself in all her clothes, minus her big coat. She calmed down. "What're you doing here?"

"Lavi told me you fainted, so I rushed over."

"Oh. Wait. Aren't you not talking to me?" Allen remembered as she gradually calmed down.

"Look, Moyashi, I'm sorry about that day. It's just hard for me to… for me to talk freely about my emotions. And I'm not interested in Lulubell. She hung onto me. I'm sorry." Kanda bowed his head.

Allen smiled, a weight lifted off her heart. "It's okay, Bakanda."

She reached out to stroke his long hair. Outside, Lenalee and Lavi whooped in joy at the scene, which unfortunately alerted Kanda to their unwelcome presence. He launched open the door and came at them with his Mugen at the ready.

......

"Look carefully, Yu, this is how it's done." Lavi's deft fingers twisted the coloured paper into a rose. Kanda tried to follow suit; he was so focused on the rose that he didn't even threaten Lavi for using his first name.

"How many have you folded by now, Kanda?" Lenalee asked a few hours later, amused, as she took in Kanda's dishevelled appearance.

"Twenty." Kanda wiped his perspiration away with the back of his hand, and attempted to push his long hair back behind his ear. "Where's my hair tie?"

"Wow, twenty! That's a lot of effort you've put in." Lenalee looked very surprised. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Kanda grunted. Lavi beamed at Lenalee, though, and said, "It's all due to my good influence!"

Kanda glared at him, after which Lavi decided that it was time for him to use the washroom.

"You know, Kanda, I think Allen will be really touched when she sees this." Lenalee said, breaking the empty silence.

"Che, she'd better. I've spent so much time on it!"

......

"Allen, wear this at the very least! I absolutely forbid you to wear any slouchy old tee! If you really must wear jeans, then you have to wear this top to go with it!" Lenalee snapped at Allen, holding out a blue top.

Allen shivered in response. "Alright." She said at last.

After getting into the top, Allen looked at herself in the mirror. It was a little low-cut, but she had her coat after all, so there would be no problems with that. Grabbing her coat, she yelled a goodbye to Lenalee before zooming out the door, straight into Kanda's muscular chest.

"Oh!" Allen exclaimed, surprised to find yet another obstacle blocking her way.

"Moyashi?"

Allen looked up to see Kanda's dark eyes. "Oh gosh! Sorry, Kanda, I didn't know you were outside."

"Che. Let's go."

The two walked in a comfortable silence downhill, walking through the sugary snow, until at last they reached the park that Lavi had once brought Allen to. Kanda kicked a path through the knee-deep snow so that Allen could walk, leading her through the trees to the centre of the park. There, Kanda wiped a wooden bench, and pulled Allen to sit on it.

Looking up, Allen saw an intricate canopy above her head, with branches interlocking and crossing each other. Snow lay in clumps along the brown branches, lending a whimsical touch to the portrait-worthy scene.

"It's lovely!" Allen smiled at Kanda in gratitude, happy that he brought her here.

"Yes, I thought you'd like it." Kanda said absently. His eyes were again on Allen – yes, she did look lovely. The weak winter sun fell on her, and her hair looked like glossy snow against the white and brown backdrop. Her small features were as attractive to him as ever, and her eyes seem to shimmer with all their sad intensity in the afternoon sun.

Then he noticed her shivering.

"You're cold." Kanda's questions were apt to sound like statements.

"I'm fine. It's just that my shirt is a little flimsy…"

Kanda stared at her shirt for some time, before taking off his own longer and warmer coat. He exchanged their coats with precise actions, taking no notice of her protests.

"Next time, don't wear such a top."

"Lenalee forced me into it."

"Don't listen to her then."

"She said you'd like it."

"I like anything you wear." At this, pink tints lined the cheeks of both man and woman sitting on the bench.

"Eh, Moyashi." Allen was used to Kanda calling her that, but this time, the sweet intensity with which he uttered her name shocked her, and sent gentle tingles down her spine. His gentle tone, so rarely in use, played with her nickname, giving it a loving touch that echoed in her mind with soft footsteps.

"Moyashi?"

"Huh?" Allen could only manage that intelligent reply.

Kanda did not reply. His fingers fumbled with his sling bag, before he finally wrenched out a prettily wrapped bouquet of flowers, which he handed to Allen. Allen took hold of the small floral gift, and looked at it in amazement.

There lay twenty red roses folded from paper, tied together in a delightful whirl with white and green tissue. Allen looked at Kanda.

"You made this?"

"You think?"

"Thanks Bakanda. I know you must have spent hours folding this. i… I don't know what to say. Just… thank you." Allen's eyes started to fill with tears.

"Che. Twenty roses; twenty to represent your age." Kanda stretched a finger out to stroke Allen's hair, and leaned towards her. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes!" Allen's heart leapt at the thought. Without a word, Kanda gently titled Allen's head, and planted a soft kiss on the scar that lay across the left side of her face. He moved away to see her reaction.

_He kissed my scar… _Allen was shocked, but pleased.

"I love you, Bakanda." Allen stroked Kanda's cheek with her hands. One hand moved up to sweep his bangs out of his dark eyes. "I love you, and I love your gift."

"Che." But Kanda smiled down at the girl he loved, and pulled her head so that it rested on his shoulder.

She was like soba – he would never tire of her, and he would always be able to appreciate the unique flavour that her unusual character left behind. Sometime in the future, perhaps, he might be able to attempt saying 'I love you'. But right now, he was content to sit with Allen among the glinting white snow in his own tiny little utopia.

* * *

A/N: This is really truly the last chapter! I'm kind of sad that this fic has really ended, actually. It's been quite an experience writing this. I know it's clichéd and all, but it has been a good learning experience. Though I still think I need a beta reader to improve my plot flow. I will get one in the future.

To all my readers: thank you very much for bothering to read this fic. I mean it! (:

To my reviewers: thanks too! You've all made me pretty happy. I've never gotten so many reviews for one chapter before (: Thank you for all the feedback and whatnot!

Lastly, thanks for reading this! I'm going to imitate one ff writer (who, I can't remember). Since this is the last chapter, I would like to ask everyone who has placed this on story alert, or just any reader, to drop a last review. Please? Hahaha. I want to know what you think of the fic in general. Thank you! :D


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